Lighthouse on a Foggy Night

"Ouch!" I yelled after cutting myself on a nail. My hand was bleeding, and the area of the cut immediately began to throb. I didn't need eyes to know immediately where I was hurt. The pain told me, my body told me, and I listened intently. I knew that I needed to do something, so I immediately went to wash and bandage it. Pain told me exactly where I was wounded and helped me identify exactly what I needed to do. to keep it from becoming infected and how to take care of it. I simply had to listen to it.

Why is it that we only do this for those moments when we experience physical pain and not for those emotional/mental moments when we scream out in pain? Why don't we listen? I remember once falling backwards on my skates knocking all of the air out of me. The fall didn't scare me as much as the fact that I couldn't breath. I started to cry, and immediately I was told that big girls don't cry. That hurt me even more than the fall. I felt uncared for. We are taught to swallow our pain and then do what we have to do to not admit that we are even feeling it. We run from it. We try to bury it. We smother it with food, drugs and alcohol, and no matter what we do, it remains right there screaming, "Ouch!"

The more we run and say "No" to it, the louder the scream gets. It seems to haunt us, and if we choose to use drugs or alcohol to drown it out, it works temporarily, but soon the scream comes back even louder.

For others our pain is a shield or a badge of honor to carry around to show everyone. They relieve their stories over and over as they show their shields to all they meet. You might think they are listening to their pain, but they really aren't to what their pain is trying to tell them. They simply are addicted to their stories and love sharing them over and over again, so they can gather all the attention they need to feel validated.

We are a world that is addicted to the fear of our pain, and those fears are making horrible choices. We see it every single night on the news. We see it in our own families and relationships; the wreckage and destruction caused by the fears of our pain.

So what is our pain trying to tell us? "Ouch!" It is saying, "I am hurt, and I need you to help me heal it." When we ignore it, it festers and becomes an infection like any physical wound. It spreads into many areas of our lives. You might think that it is absolutely impossible to heal now and it is best to keep running. However, there is an antibiotic for these emotional and mental wounds, and it is the word, "yes."

Yes means that you are not running away, and you are choosing to believe in yourself. It means that you are standing in place looking directly into the eyes of your pain. Yes means that you are asking it what it needs to be healed. Yes means that you are beginning to listen to your needs and take your power back from your fears.

I ran for many years, and it got me no where. I thought the next curve in the road would reveal a much better life. However, that was a pipe dream. The moment that I stopped saying no to myself and found the strength to say yes, I knew that I could survive it. I listened, and I began to heal just in that simple act. I took the necessary steps to support my healing process that my pain told me it needed. Like physical pain I found the correct emotional and mental bandages that allowed my wounds to once and for all heal. Pain is a like the lighthouse on a foggy night. It is the light that will guide us to the exact place we need to be in order to heal.

What it all comes down to is the choice between two words: No and Yes. Which one will you say to yourself when you hurt? I challenge you to sit down with yourself with as much compassion as you would for a dear friend. Allow yourself to find forgiveness, love and a gentle place within your heart to find your way through this. Give yourself permission to be there for yourself.