Fire....

I have always been fascinated by fire. There is so much power in it....the power that creates such destruction yet creates new life. I fought fires for years in the forests, and I found myself at times standing there in absolute awe of what it created. It is a living being that creates the conditions it needs to live. A fire, when it gets big enough, can generate its own wind storms, it's only lightning to feed it, to keep it moving, to keep it consuming. When you stand within those fire created storms, you realize how powerless you really are. It is a humbling and beautiful moment...and it can be terrifying.

The last fire I worked on was Los Alamos, and it broke my heart to see all of those homes destroyed. I worked on the Los Alamos grounds for most of the night, and the next day they assigned me to put out some hotspots in the area where the houses burned. We were digging, tearing apart...basically doing what we had to do to make sure it didn't flare up again. A bus drove the owners of those homes by us. I will never forget the looks on their faces as I stood in the rubble. Devestation, tears, anger and shock were a few of the emotions that roamed across their faces. I felt so much guilt for digging into what was left of their life in that moment. I walked away after that fire.

That doesn't mean I still don't feel that call, and now I do more than ever. There is a fire burning a few miles from my home. I watched it grow to a major blaze within a few minutes. Our winds were between 50-70mph. They are climbing to the same today. We had to go to Montrose, so somehow they let us drive into the canyon. Bill drove next to an oak brush that suddenly flared up, and the flames licked the side of the truck. The heat filled the cab, and I knew we needed to get out of there. I saw this before, and I knew what was coming.

My sadness grew through the evening. However, it is yet another lesson from nature, from the river for me and everyone about impermanence. Nothing lasts forever, even those places that mean so much to us; that inspire us and create so many beautiful memories. Fire washes the colors out and bathes the landscape in varying shades of greys, and I must say that those grays are beautiful...such different shades with hues of blues and yellows and purples. Greens always emerge where the fire didn't touch. I can see the different ways in which the fire moved and danced through the canyon and into another. A living being doing its dance of destruction and creation.

We seem to forget this...wherever there is destruction, something new is born. I watch the oil spill, and my heart breaks with the gulf. I am crying tears for it, for the canyon, but I do know that nature is amazingly resilient. I do know that she will bring life back to places we think it is not possible. All we have to do for reminders of this is look to Mt. St. Helens where the side of a dead mountain is now filled with life again. That doesn't mean we don't take responsibility for our errors and do what we need to do on our side of it to clean up the mess...to reseed...to save lives of the animals affected....but I do know she will come back.

As I stood in the canyon looking, crying, I heard the sweet melody of the river flowing by and many, many birds singing along to her tune. I know that life will keep flowing in whatever way She creates it....