I have grown to despise the word "should". It is a word that has haunted me all of my life, and I think it has most people. It is a word that when you break free of, so many amazing things can come in.
I hear a lot of people talking about how they want to totally get rid of an aspect of themselves, because they simply can't stand living that way anymore. I totally understand this except for the part of wanting to get rid of that aspect. Yes, that is a should whenever we think in absolutes.
Every part of you is amazing. Every part of you is a piece of a puzzle, and each piece is needed to create the whole picture or painting or sculpture. Yes, along the way we may have picked up some tools, or ways in which we react, that aren't always the most functional or healing. In fact, they create a lot of dysfunction and pain in our lives, so you are probably wondering why I would say to not get rid of it right?
Well, I am a firm believer in transformation. Living here in the Rocky Mountains, I watch transformation everyday. Nature again has been my teacher. I watch the seasons give way to one another. I see how the vibrant bud becomes an emerald green leaf, which eventually turns to yellow and red. When Winter arrives, it is finally brown and it falls from the tree to the ground where it continues to transform into soil. The butterfly first starts out as a caterpillar, creates a cocoon where it turns within two weeks into a miraculous butterfly. Everywhere you look, you will see signs of transformation.
I say don't get rid of, but embrace those aspects of you that you want to get rid of since they will be your greatest teacher. Sit down with them, treat them as you would a friend who is suffering, listen to the story, and when compassion walks into your heart, you will begin to see how to transform this aspect of yourself from something dysfunctional to functional, from something that causes pain to something that heals, and finally you won't be walking around with a big gaping hole in your life. You are now that butterfly flying around from flower to flower.
I recently faced such a moment in my life. I have been creating a lot of muck in the studio. It happens when something new wants to come out of me into the world. However, in order to let this happen, there is something I usually need to face. For me it was all of those "should's" that so many people lovingly poured upon me when I first started working as a professional artist. I admit that I was very insecure, and I listened. I listened way too well. I heard such things as I should only paint flowers, I should only paint animals, I should give up using oil pastels and only work with oil paints, and the list goes on an on.
My husband brought home a piece of copper to me during this time that he rescued from the trash. He thought I could turn it into a piece of art. I listened to one of those should's and I painted sunflowers on one side of it. However, on the other side of it, I painted my prayers without being fully aware of it. Well, I hated that piece of copper when I was done, and I stared at it for three years wondering what in the world I would ever do with it.
Suddenly, last week I knew that I needed to destroy it and then recreate from whatever survived. It was my way of transforming all of those "should's" into "could's" or possibilities. I got out a hammer, a dremel tool, and a torch. There are a lot of ways to work with copper properly, and I'll be honest, I didn't do any of them. I lightly sanded the surface leaving the paint on, but creating a texture for something to hold onto if need be. I then started working without any preconcieved ideas, and I haven't felt this free and trusting of myself in a long time. What it became is really unique, and it is something I am very happy with. I am hoping to continue working with copper and to keep turning caterpillars into butterflies.
I am calling these suncatchers.
I hear a lot of people talking about how they want to totally get rid of an aspect of themselves, because they simply can't stand living that way anymore. I totally understand this except for the part of wanting to get rid of that aspect. Yes, that is a should whenever we think in absolutes.
Every part of you is amazing. Every part of you is a piece of a puzzle, and each piece is needed to create the whole picture or painting or sculpture. Yes, along the way we may have picked up some tools, or ways in which we react, that aren't always the most functional or healing. In fact, they create a lot of dysfunction and pain in our lives, so you are probably wondering why I would say to not get rid of it right?
Well, I am a firm believer in transformation. Living here in the Rocky Mountains, I watch transformation everyday. Nature again has been my teacher. I watch the seasons give way to one another. I see how the vibrant bud becomes an emerald green leaf, which eventually turns to yellow and red. When Winter arrives, it is finally brown and it falls from the tree to the ground where it continues to transform into soil. The butterfly first starts out as a caterpillar, creates a cocoon where it turns within two weeks into a miraculous butterfly. Everywhere you look, you will see signs of transformation.
I say don't get rid of, but embrace those aspects of you that you want to get rid of since they will be your greatest teacher. Sit down with them, treat them as you would a friend who is suffering, listen to the story, and when compassion walks into your heart, you will begin to see how to transform this aspect of yourself from something dysfunctional to functional, from something that causes pain to something that heals, and finally you won't be walking around with a big gaping hole in your life. You are now that butterfly flying around from flower to flower.
I recently faced such a moment in my life. I have been creating a lot of muck in the studio. It happens when something new wants to come out of me into the world. However, in order to let this happen, there is something I usually need to face. For me it was all of those "should's" that so many people lovingly poured upon me when I first started working as a professional artist. I admit that I was very insecure, and I listened. I listened way too well. I heard such things as I should only paint flowers, I should only paint animals, I should give up using oil pastels and only work with oil paints, and the list goes on an on.
My husband brought home a piece of copper to me during this time that he rescued from the trash. He thought I could turn it into a piece of art. I listened to one of those should's and I painted sunflowers on one side of it. However, on the other side of it, I painted my prayers without being fully aware of it. Well, I hated that piece of copper when I was done, and I stared at it for three years wondering what in the world I would ever do with it.
Suddenly, last week I knew that I needed to destroy it and then recreate from whatever survived. It was my way of transforming all of those "should's" into "could's" or possibilities. I got out a hammer, a dremel tool, and a torch. There are a lot of ways to work with copper properly, and I'll be honest, I didn't do any of them. I lightly sanded the surface leaving the paint on, but creating a texture for something to hold onto if need be. I then started working without any preconcieved ideas, and I haven't felt this free and trusting of myself in a long time. What it became is really unique, and it is something I am very happy with. I am hoping to continue working with copper and to keep turning caterpillars into butterflies.
I am calling these suncatchers.
1 comment:
hi marie, i really like what you right, i am also a painter and i truly belive in something called creator, so that, this same one onLy give me my senses to come to him, and thats what you do, only you do it by connecting yourseelf to nature and that is what is called LIFE!
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